REALITY star Amber Turner admitted she hates Towie and is miserable most of the time while filming.
The blonde beauty, who is part of the new Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins line-up, questioned why she's even still doing the Essex-based TV show in a new interview.
Amber, 30, can't wait to tune into each episode of the Channel 4 programme and watch the trials and tribulations from her time in the Vietnamese jungle.
It's at odds with her attitude towards Towie, which Amber says she never puts on telly.
"I'm really excited to watch it," she said. "I don't watch myself back on Towie. I don't get excited about the series because 95 per cent of my time on the show is not enjoyable. Doing SAS was more enjoyable than Towie."
In an apparent dig at her Towie co-stars, she continued: "I am really proud to be taking part in a show which has had so many incredible people on. I'm proud to be amongst Olympians and sports stars, then there is little old me."
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One thing Towie has helped Amber with is her break-up from boyfriend Dan Edgar, whom she parted ways with in May after six years together.
She said: "I don't know why I still do Towie to be honest? I think I would be lost without it in a weird sense. It has been such a big part of my life. It kind of gives me a purpose.
"I feel like if I didn't have the stability of having to film Towie through my break-up I could have slipped into a bit of a dark place.
"It got me out of the house, forced me to put my makeup on rather than just be at home a bit depressed and sad."
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Despite her mixed emotions about the programme, she insists she wouldn't want it any other way.
"It definitely is a love, hate relationship," she said. "I love it but I hate it at the same time. I wouldn't change it though.
"It can be a toxic relationship but it can also be really healthy for me. It's one of those roller coaster relationships."
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins returns to Channel 4 on Tuesday at 9:30pm. The series will then continue every Sundays at 9:00pm.
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