My sons classmates think hes a girl, but I wont cut his long, curly hair

These days we’re all much more flexible about how our children dress – girls can wear trousers and boys can love pink.

But, one mum has told of her anger after her son’s teacher told her that he needed to cut his hair.

The anonymous parent posted on Mumsnet to ask for advice after the conversation with her five-year-olds class teacher.

She explained that he had often been mistaken for a girl due to his “long, curly hair” and “big blue eyes”.

But, that his school teacher worried that he would be bullied.

She said: “Very upset. DS [darling son] is 5 and has always been a sensitive boy.

“Gravitates towards girls and has some (traditionally) feminine (as well as some very masculine) interests.

“He has long, curly hair and big blue eyes. Has been mistaken for a girl since birth irrespective of dressing in typical ‘boy’ clothes.

“His teacher has just now brought up that she is worried he will be bullied because apparently the other kids at school think he's a girl.”

The mum continued: “She's suggested he cut his hair. DH [dear husband] is all for it.

“I am not, pure and simply because he doesn't want to! DH has pushed many times and he just doesn't want to.

“I also don't think he should have to masculinise his interests just because he may or may not be bullied.

“Ultimately, I am obviously horrified at the prospect of him being bullied, but am struggling to understand why he should have to change who he is to fit some kind of stereotype.

“Don't know what to do, but I am very, very upset about all this.”

She asked whether she was unreasonable to be angry and pointed out “it’s 2022!”

In the comments the opinions were divided.

One woman said: “I think if he has very strong feelings about his hair then obviously don't force him to cut it, but make sure it's coming from him not you.

“Fitting in is really important to kids."

While another added: “I would do anything to stop my child being bullied. If that means shorter hair so be it.”

But another disagreed and said: “Are they saying he actually IS being bullied?

“If not, then it’s a non-issue.

“The teacher should be talking to the class about boys and girls having equal opportunity to wear their hair how they like, play with what they like, and accept that in other people too.

“If the school can’t get that message right with 5 year olds I’d be seriously unimpressed.”

What would you do in this situation? Tell us in the comments…

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