DEAR DEIDRE: JUST because I refused to cut ties with my mum, my boyfriend broke up with me – despite me being five months’ pregnant.
Years ago she made a stupid comment about his job as an electrician, saying he’d never earn enough to support us.
My boyfriend has held it against her ever since. When we found out I was pregnant, he said he didn’t want our child to grow up with someone so materialistic.
He demanded I move into his flat with him but said my mother wasn’t welcome. He stated I’d have to take our daughter to my mum’s if she wanted to see her.
When I said I didn’t want to live like that, he broke up with me. He’s 27, I’m 25 and we were together for four years.
He says he’ll visit and provide for our child, but that’s not enough for me. I still love him and want to be a family.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend is being controlling in asking you to choose, and that’s not fair. His reaction does seem quite extreme.
Could he be worried about being a father and providing for you both? Perhaps your mum has really hit a nerve.
An apology from her might help to reassure him. She was insensitive, but he isn’t having a baby with her, he’s becoming a parent with you.
It aids a child’s emotional development to have both parents around, so ask your boyfriend to try couples’ counselling with you. Experts at Relate (relate.org.uk) will be able to help you work through these issues.
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