There have long been theories about how your Myers-Briggs type impacts your work — who works well together, who will likely lead the group project, who’s napping under their desk as we speak. Now that many of us are working from home, video conference calls and meetings on Zoom are teaching us even more about our coworkers, classmates, and cohorts. More than perhaps any of us needed to know. Who knew your boss was so into houseplants? Did your deskmate even mention they have kids? Will Pat in accounting even learn how to unmute herself?
If you have somehow avoided finding out your Meyers-Briggs type, unfortunately, you must now succumb to the social pressure to identify yourself in four letters. Are you an E (extrovert) or an I (introvert)? More S (sensory) or N (intuition)? You will finally understand what people mean when they say you lean more T (thinking) than F (feeling). And while we are all in our actual PJs, you must now let us know whether you are required by internet law to say whether you are more P (perceiving) or J (judging). There are plenty of free Myers-Briggs personality tests online that are relatively accurate though not all are affiliated with the official Myers & Briggs Type Indicator.
What I’m saying is this is a thing that 1) costs no money and 2) takes up time, and those two things combined are what we are all desperately clinging to during this strange and unprecedented time. Here’s how you can spot each personality type on a Zoom call. Please quietly judge your coworkers accordingly.
ISTJ – The Inspector
They’re sharing their screen because they have a graph that can explain whatever you’re talking about. If it can be represented in a pie chart, the ISTJ on the call will already have one prepared.
ISTP – The Virtuoso
They’ve used this time to take up a new hobby. While you were trying to justify not showering for the third day in a row, they learned how to do macrame.
ISFJ – The Defender
They’re the ones letting Pat in accounting know that yes, their mic is muted, and no, we cannot hear them, but yes, we can still see them. Their patience is unmatched.
ISFP – The Artist
They’re in a different part of their house every time you have a Zoom call.
INFJ – The Advocate
They’re only half-listening to the Zoom call while trying to figure out a cure for coronavirus.
INFP – The Mediator
They’re checking in on everyone else and reminding people to “stay positive.”
INTJ – The Architect
They’ll be quiet for the majority of the Zoom call but suddenly chime in with thoughtful and well-articulated input.
INTP – The Thinker
They’re the one reminding everyone to stay home and wash their hands.
ESTP – The Persuader
They’re trying to end the Zoom call early.
ESTJ – The Director
They’re hosting the Zoom call, obviously.
ESFP – The Performer
They found the potato filter and they are not afraid to use it.
ESFJ – The Caregiver
They’re privately chatting someone else in the chat to make sure they’re OK after someone spoke over them on the call.
ENFP – The Champion
They suggested the theme for your next Zoom call should be “something fun” like “crazy hats!!!”
ENFJ – The Giver
They sent everyone a link to the DIY face mask drive they started.
ENTP – The Debater
They keep trying to get everyone to switch to Google hangouts.
ENTJ – The Commander
Not only are they still fully dedicated to work, but they’ve also managed to bake homemade bread, reorganize their closet, and call their reps about paid sick leave. If they have kids, they are busy doing a craft the ENTJ designed to occupy them during the Zoom call.
There is one thing all personality types have in common when it comes to Zoom calls: we are all the ones who definitely only dressed from the waist up.
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