Getting close to my sex-starved neighbour was a big mistake.
I thought I was being kind by chatting to her over the garden fence and helping with a flat tyre. Now she won’t leave me alone.
I’m single and so is she, but the difference is that I’m not lonely or looking for a relationship. I’m a guy who likes sex with a variety of women on my own terms. I don’t like to be tied down.
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You can check out more relationship and sex advice from Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman here.
Unfortunately, my neighbour has developed a crush. She thinks I’m the one who is going to make her happy.
She keeps popping over with bottles of wine and snacks. Twice she’s tried to grope me and last month she came right out and asked me if I fancied full sex. I said: “No thanks.”
Now she’s invited me on a dirty weekend. She’s booked a luxury suite in a country hotel and has hinted I can do anything I like. She’s a nice enough woman, but not my type.
And she’s become a bit of a nightmare. I have to try and avoid her every time I attempt to get in or out of my house.
The other week I drew up in a taxi at 9pm with a female friend. We were quite drunk and looking forward to a night of no-strings sex. My neighbour came out and confronted me. She called my friend a sl*t and a gold-digger. She acted like she owns me. The whole encounter was awkward.
The next night she stormed over and demanded to know what was going on. Why was I dating other women and not her? I’m wary of making an enemy of her because I don’t know which way she might turn.
I suspect she thinks she’s going to break me down, but that is never going to happen.
JANE SAYS: You cannot go on that romantic trip with your feisty neighbour. Tell her it’s not something you’re interested in. Full stop.
She may fancy you and be looking for love, but nothing gives anyone the right to overstep the mark.
Embarrassing you in the street was outrageous. You’re not obliged to answer to her or anyone else.
You now need to level with her about your true feelings, because if you’re definitely not interested in a romance then she needs to hear that – sooner rather than later.
Explain that you’re sorry, but you’re not free. This is not a game. You know your own mind and you’re not playing hard-to-get hoping she’ll continue to chase you.
If she can’t respect where you’re coming from, then you can have nothing more to do with each other. She has to understand you won’t be bullied or intimidated.
I don’t think you should go so far as moving home, but you should be ready to speak to a solicitor or even the police if this woman becomes a serious nuisance.
It’s sad that she’s lonely, but that’s not your problem. And you are definitely not the answer to her prayers.
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